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Kian Barker
Shakabarker Tours

Kian Barker



Ritalin by the industrial can please!

Greetings and Salutations,

A couple of nights ago, in fact on the 9th of October 2007, we witnessed two buffalo bulls attempting to trash each other. It was a vicious and very intense exercise. A serious amount of harmful Green House gasses were emitted by these two testosterone-drenched males. They clashed horns, pushed and shoved, locked horns sideways, horned each other in the chest, throat and eyes. So intense was this battle, that at times one opponent was lifted clear off the ground.  Fortunately they were of similar size, and just like two synchronized fighters, they tore at each other as if there was no tomorrow, neither gaining a clear advantage. One would lift its opponent, but then could not hold the position because of its weight.The one would be thrown to the ground in a clincher, and the other would muster the energy to flick its opponent to the ground. This lasted a good 25 minutes,  with many huffing and puffing rest breaks.

On the following night the rhino seemed to have gotten wind of this buffalo testosterone display, and two rhino decided to have a good go at each other as well. Rhino are known for their limited cranial capacity, a mere 900g for this large and allegedly fierce beast. But multi-tasking is certainly not what rhinos are about, and I suppose when the bush telegraph signal reached them, they were eating grass happily, so it was too much to contemplate a fight. But once their limited mental capacity allowed them to take cognizance of all the action, Ja, you guessed it right, all hell broke loose. The fight was on! At this point I concluded that this population of herbivores needed an industrial-sized can of Ritalin, for there seemed to be no end to all this bull aggression. The only valid reason was that due to the prolonged dry spell followed by good rain, suddenly there were good quantities of grass available, and therefore associated extra energy. The females were either pregnant or suckling or both - no time for aggression.

In both cases, females were the source of the competition, and old Titus the Rhino was once again in the firing line. Titus has a history here, and at the beginning of the year he successfully regained his territory with his two females and his new offspring. Now that more than half a year had lapsed, these females were in estrous again and battle lines were being drawn by the two males. Rhino fights are impressive, fast and very intense. In this case there were no exceptions. Contrary to the buffalo, rhino remain head-on and do not lock horns, but rather flick their heads at each other at lightning speed. A fight could last not minutes but days, and in this case, they were old contestants with a substantial history. And only huge, permanently administered quantities of intravenous Ritalin would have resolved this issue. Oh well, rhino wandering around this park clutching Ritalin drips would not work, so "Round Ten and beyond - Ding!" Let the battle continue...

Hasta la vista,

The Knait Wrydah

Posted by Kian Barker

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